Q&A - Health Update, Sobriety & Finding The One

The host adopted a strict version of the carnivore diet, incorporating meat and fruit, for over six months. His primary motivation was to combat brain fog and aid in detoxifying from mold exposure, and he reported feeling mentally good on the diet. However, a significant drawback was the severe impact on his cholesterol levels, which 'went through the roof.' He realized he is one of many individuals who are 'hyperabsorbers' or more sensitive to dietary cholesterol. While acknowledging that many people find the carnivore diet beneficial, he cautions that it can be 'pretty destructive to some of the important numbers and heart health,' emphasizing the need to monitor LDL levels. This personal experience led him to abandon the strict carnivore approach and return to a more balanced intermittent fasting regimen.

The host strongly advocates for taking a break from alcohol, particularly for individuals experiencing reduced enthusiasm and motivation after drinking. He recommends a minimum commitment of six months, explaining that the most challenging period is the first 60 days. If one only commits for 30 or 90 days, they endure the initial difficulty without fully experiencing the long-term benefits. He suggests that after a six-month break, many people, including himself, find they no longer desire to return to drinking. He also addresses social concerns, advising against outsourcing one's lifestyle choices to societal norms, as the 'average' path often leads to undesirable outcomes. He points out that non-alcoholic alternatives can help navigate social situations where drinking is common.

The host has returned to a rigid morning routine, which he previously maintained during a 'solo monk mode' period. This routine, starting around 6 AM, includes a walk (sometimes with light therapy glasses before sunrise), 10-20 minutes of HV resonance breathing, unguided meditation (Shinzen Young's five ways to know yourself, or Sam Harris's Waking Up for guided), and 10 minutes of reading. He emphasizes that this hour-long routine, while potentially seen as 'out of touch' by some, is crucial for him. He argues that stacking these activities in the morning, before engaging with his phone, makes them much easier to accomplish. The routine provides movement, light exposure, nervous system regulation through breath work, and intellectual stimulation. He specifically highlights resonance breathing as 'hypertrophy training for your vagus nerve,' which he believes enhances meditation. He also notes that reading something he's excited to discuss with others (like a training partner) helps to solidify the learning.

The host posits that 'unlearning' a habit is significantly more difficult than learning one, emphasizing that there's no such thing as a 'neutral' habit—every action, or inaction, reinforces some behavioral pattern. His core belief is that the most effective way to 'unlearn' is not to erase, but to 'overwrite' by building a stronger, better habit with 'deeper grooves.' He uses the analogy of water flowing through a landscape, cutting a path of least resistance; similarly, human behavior follows established patterns. To change a habit, one must exert considerable effort to 'rip this new habit off the launchpad one inch at a time,' creating a new, deeper groove that eventually becomes the path of least resistance. A key rule for consistency is 'don't miss two days in a row,' as one missed day is a mistake, but two starts a new, undesirable habit. He acknowledges that old habits may always 'lurk in the background,' but believes that over time, new habits can become so ingrained that they effectively override the old ones.

The host strongly advises celebrating 'micro wins' as a crucial strategy to combat dissatisfaction and fuel future motivation. He observes that many ambitious individuals, despite achieving significant milestones, feel unfulfilled and struggle to initiate the next phase of hard work. This disconnect, he argues, stems from a failure to acknowledge and celebrate past successes. He likens it to training a dog: if a dog performs well but receives no reward, it won't be motivated to repeat the behavior. Humans, wired for perpetual achievement, often raise the bar for celebration too high, leading to a cycle of accomplishment without satisfaction. By actively celebrating even small achievements, individuals can reinforce their efforts, feel a sense of accomplishment, and generate the motivation needed to pursue new goals. He encourages making a 'big deal' out of personal achievements, even with friends, to ensure these wins are properly acknowledged.

When faced with significant debt, the host's primary advice is to increase cash inflow rather than solely focusing on reducing expenses. He argues that 'anxiety really hates a moving target,' and actively increasing income can feel more motivating and effective for tackling large debts, especially those accruing interest. He shares his personal experience from university where he overcame financial worries by 'overworking.' For someone like a teacher with holidays, he suggests side hustles such as becoming a personal trainer, which can offer a good hourly rate. While acknowledging the difficulty and potential for tiredness, he believes that increasing inflow provides a greater sense of progress and control, which can be crucial for motivation. He also links this strategy to addiction recovery, suggesting that being actively engaged in work can reduce the likelihood of relapsing into behaviors like gambling.

The host describes 2023 as the most challenging year of his life, marked by significant health struggles stemming from mold exposure. He felt a profound decline in his emotional state, professional capacity, and personal well-being, including energy, mood, and cognitive function. He acknowledges that he tried to maintain a 'brave face' for his audience and guests, but internally, he was struggling immensely, crying more in the past year than in the previous two decades. He expresses relief that his brain is finally 'working' again, feeling a return to his former self and the quality of his thoughts, which he had missed for about 18 months. This period of recovery has brought him a sense of 'good vibe' and renewed confidence.

The host explicitly states that he is 'definitely not flavor of the month' with the hustle culture world, having actively railed against the 'fuck your feelings, just work harder' ethos over the past year. He believes that many of his recent podcast episodes aim to highlight the crucial role of emotion, connection, and resonance in one's work, contrasting it with the idea of simply working until exhaustion. He warns that while ignoring feelings can be a 'superpower' for short-term gains, the ultimate goal of hard work is often to achieve a state of well-being. If one reaches success but remains disconnected from their emotions, they risk becoming 'very successful and very miserable.' His definition of success does not include looking back on a 'series of miserable successes,' indicating a profound re-evaluation of what truly constitutes a fulfilling life.

The host openly shares his challenges with writing his first book, despite having a deal with Penguin. His primary hurdle is defining a unique 'idea set' that goes beyond simply repurposing content from his podcast. He fears that titling the book 'Modern Wisdom' or making it an 'almanac style' collection of ideas, while reflective of his podcast, would diminish his legitimacy as a writer. He wants to establish himself as an author with a distinct thesis, rather than just 'the podcast guy who wrote a book about his podcast.' He acknowledges the 'paradox of choice' and 'curse of options' due to the multitude of potential topics he could cover, such as not missing one's life, the balance of success and happiness, the 'lonely chapter,' or untaught lessons. This internal conflict highlights his desire for a substantial and original contribution to literature.

The host identifies a current, difficult phase of personal growth, moving from an 'active' state, characterized by ruthless rationality, single-minded focus, and a 'fuck your feelings, just work harder' mentality, to an 'emotional' state. He notes that the lessons and tools that were effective in his previous transition from 'passive' to 'active' (roughly ages 26-32) are no longer applicable. This new phase feels like 'devolution' rather than evolution, as it requires healing and letting go of patterns that previously brought him success and admiration. He describes the experience as being 'incongruent,' lacking the familiar tools and support systems, and swimming in a 'milieu of uncertainty.' This internal struggle is compounded by the external perception that he might not know what he's doing, making it harder to form new, intellectually engaging friendships with people who are also navigating similar complex transitions.