Contracts of Love & Money That Make or Break Relationships | James Sexton

Every married person already has a prenup—the one written by the state legislature. Couples can either accept that default rule set or co-author their own, which James Sexton argues deepens trust and safety.

Sexton, a veteran divorce attorney, claims that in 25 years and hundreds of prenuptial agreements, only about 5 clients later divorced. He attributes this to the self-selecting nature: the conversations required to negotiate a prenup build the kind of relationship skills that make marriage last.

Prenups are not just about dividing assets—they can include pet custody, infidelity penalties, alimony structures, and even financial incentives tied to weight or behavior. Sexton shares a real case where a weight-gain clause was upheld in court.

Sexton reframes marriage as an economy and a contract, urging couples to discuss ‘What do we owe each other?’ and to view uncomfortable conversations about money, sex, and expectations as foundational to intimacy rather than buzzkills.