I cried when my ego was dying - Justyna Steczkowska on God, psychedelics and death

Steczkowska emphasizes that holding onto grievances only harms the holder, not the offender. She references David Hawkins' scale of consciousness, where love and joy are the highest vibrations, while shame, guilt, and anger are the lowest. She argues that many therapies could be shortened if people first practiced forgiveness. She shares that even when she feels wronged, she immediately sends love to the person to dissolve the negative charge. This practice is part of her daily 'energetic hygiene,' akin to going to the gym regularly—you can't expect results from a single session. She also ties this to the concept that the body is a witness to every emotion, storing trauma that later manifests as disease, so daily release is essential.

She recounts that when she gets upset, she goes to lie on the grass in her garden or in the forest, looking up at the tree canopies and sky. Within 10 minutes, she feels 'like newborn.' She also recommends standing barefoot on the earth after getting out of the car, even briefly, to reconnect. She contrasts this with the constant digital stimulation that disconnects us from nature. She believes that contact with nature is the most effective antidote to the daily madness of information overload. She personally thanks the earth and sea, feeling minerals and life enter her skin, and claims she returns from vacations '20 years younger' because of this practice.

Steczkowska had already read Dispenza's books and watched his lectures, but she found the in-person workshop to carry a unique energetic aura. She describes the final day as a series of meditations that made her feel like a 'great dragon'—powerful yet benevolent. She saw a dragon that she later used in her Eurovision performance. She emphasizes that Dispenza's work is pure science, not mixed with religion or excessive spirituality, making it accessible. She witnessed people fainting as their bodies purged deep traumas, which she sees as a positive cleansing. She left feeling immense gratitude, lightness, and forgiveness, and she now knows she can reach that state on her own.

This was her first solo trip ever, as she had always been surrounded by family. She chose India and a small group (one man, several women). After several days of alternating lectures and meditations, she suddenly felt her soul returning through her fingers—a cleansing, tearful, indescribable joy. She emphasizes that this was not about understanding intellectually but about direct experience. The soul had never left, but her awareness of it had been buried. After this, many things in her life began to shift in her favor because she was now aligned with her true self. She notes that you don't need to go to India; she needed the journey to be alone, but the state is accessible anywhere with the right inner work.

Steczkowska composed her album 'Maria Magdalena' intuitively, and later suspected it was in 432 Hz. She tested it on her infant daughter by playing it through headphones; the baby immediately relaxed and drifted off, which she took as confirmation. She believes music can heal on a vibrational level, and that much of today's entertainment music is tuned to frequencies that agitate rather than soothe. She encourages listeners to be mindful of what they consume sonically, as repeated listening leaves an imprint.

Steczkowska describes this as a daily practice. She gives the example of feeling a pang of jealousy: she instantly recognizes it as ego, tells it to stop, and sends love to the person she envied. She says this dissolves the feeling and keeps her in a high-vibration state. She emphasizes that this is not about being perfect but about catching yourself and choosing differently. Over time, it becomes a habit that keeps her generally happy and at peace.

Steczkowska explains that for years she believed karma was a 'zaklęty krąg' (enchanted circle) where you endlessly repeat lessons. However, she felt uneasy with the implication that you can never escape. She began searching for alternative perspectives and found teachings suggesting that karma is not a one-to-one accounting but a complex blend of many situations and consequences. Crucially, after death, souls can become trapped in dense earthly energy if they are attached to material things, ego, or unresolved desires. She describes a vision from 'great philosophers and wise authors' of souls that came to Earth to help others but got buried under gold and comfort, forgetting their purpose and remaining stuck for ages. The key is awareness: if you die with the consciousness that you've done your best to evolve and you choose the light, you can avoid returning to the karmic wheel. She compares it to daily life—if you know something harms you, you avoid it; similarly, with spiritual awareness, you can navigate the afterlife consciously.

Steczkowska says that holotropic states (halucynogeny) reveal that the material world is not the only dimension, and you feel united with everything. However, she stresses that this state is achievable through other means, as she experienced in India without any substances. The danger arises when someone starts to believe they can only feel good or access that state with the help of substances. She compares it to cocaine addicts who can't function without it. She witnessed friends in her youth destroyed by drugs, which kept her away from all intoxicants until age 40. She did try a psychedelic ceremony once, with a specific deep question, and it helped her see a personal flaw (rushing others). But she has no desire to repeat it because she can now reach that state through music, meditation, and daily consciousness work. She warns that without a good guide or personal awareness, one can get lost in a world they don't understand, which can be dangerous.

She says that when the topic of spiritual development first emerged, it seemed like 'czary mary' (hocus-pocus), but she realized it's just ordinary daily life. Every day we decide which direction to go, what to say to someone, what to do, what to stand for, and where to invest our energy, empathy, and attention. The more high-vibration states (love, joy) you cultivate, the more you naturally radiate that. She contrasts this with the superficial trend of following every popular song or spiritual fashion without examining the message. She urges people to be conscious of what they listen to and what they give their energy to, because repeated exposure leaves an imprint. She uses the example of Voldemort in Harry Potter: he gains power and a physical body because people feed him with their attention and fear. Similarly, if you want something to disappear from public space, stop giving it attention—don't hate-watch, don't comment, just ignore it.

She explains that when social media and internet comments first appeared, many artists were devastated by the sudden flood of criticism about their looks, clothes, or talent. She herself went through a long process of learning not to take it personally. She realized that people who leave hateful comments are usually projecting their own frustrations onto a visible target. They attack not the real person but the 'scenic avatar'—the image they have created and that the public can judge. This avatar is not her; it's a role. She says she is not her singing persona Justyna Steczkowska; that is just a part she plays. Her true self, her soul, is something timeless and separate. This understanding took her many years, especially in show business where ego is constantly inflated. Now she can catch her ego when it tries to take over and say 'stop, not with me.'