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Episode
All the sins of Polish parents - Prof. Mariusz Jędrzejko
~96 min
Episode Brief·YouTube

All the sins of Polish parents - Prof. Mariusz Jędrzejko

Cyprian Majcher
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TL;DR

The four things you'd lose by not watching

4 items

TL;DR

The four things you'd lose by not watching

4 items
1

Polish parents have handed over responsibility for upbringing to digital corporations (Meta, TikTok), giving children smartphones instead of attention and bonds, which leads to lowered self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, and sleep disorders.

2

Urgent prevention must be a 'digital detox' in the family: complete removal of screens for 3-4 days, followed by strict time limits for access (up to 3h daily including school) and absolute sleep hygiene rules (no screens after 9:30 PM for teenagers).

3

The education system is ideologized and bureaucratized; instead of top-down reforms, what is needed is parental cohesion (a unified message) and investing enormous amounts of money (e.g., from alcohol excise tax) in the parenting competencies of mothers and fathers.

4

Key to children's mental health is rebuilding the 'nature of social bonds' at the table, on a walk, and in the forest, because the 'blue light' of screens artificially stimulates the dopamine system, shortening lifespan by 2 hours of sleep daily.

Protocols

Concrete recipes — what, when, how much, and why

2 items

digital hygiene by age – limit tables

WhatChildren up to 3 years old: zero television and screens. 4-6 years: maximum 10 minutes of cartoons per day ('Roomcjis', 'Pszczółka Maja'). 7-12 years: maximum 90 minutes of screens per day in the afternoon, every other day. 13-17 years: maximum 180 minutes (3 hours) per day including school screens, with one mandatory day per week without a smartphone. For everyone: no later than 8:00 PM (under 12) or 9:30 PM (13+) end of all screens.
Whendaily, with a clock – the 'screen-stop' hour is 8:00 PM (children) and 9:30 PM (teenagers).
Doseage 4–6: 10 min/day; 7–12: 90 min every other day; 13–17: 180 min/day; frequency: one day a week completely without a smartphone.
For whomall children and teenagers, especially those with symptoms of cyber disorder (attention deficits, aggression when trying to put the phone away).
WhyThe brain, immature in its neural networks, cannot cope with excess dopamine and blue light, which disrupts sleep and learning.
CaveatsTotal limits – also include lessons with tablets at school. Parents must model the same behaviors: if dad is on his laptop at that time, the rule will not work.

Jędrzejko emphasizes that he never says not to use technology – 'digital technologies are absolutely fantastic', but they must be dosed adequately to psychosomatic development. Therefore, under 3 years of age, zero screens – not because cartoons are bad, but because the brain has not yet developed neural networks. In the 4–6 age range, an analogy to 'how many cartoons did you watch – 10 minutes a day'. The 8:00 PM and 9:30 PM boundary is taken from scientific evidence. He says: 'We have gone stupid, (...) we believe all the shamans of the cyberworld'. He also appeals for parental control: dad has the right to 'enter his room on Facebook, Instagram, Discord', because until the age of 18, he is responsible for the child.

Mechanism

Blue light stimulates the dopaminergic system – the more pleasure (dopamine), the more reward, and the brain loses motivation for other activities (dinner, studying). At the same time, with too long exposure, neurons overloaded with stimuli enter a state of arousal making deep sleep impossible, and lack of deep sleep blocks memory transfer from short-term to long-term (6 hours of sleep is the minimum).

If children are under 12 years old, we say 8:00 PM end of all screens. TV, computer, smartphone, e-book reader, everything. If you are 13–17 years old, 9:30 PM.

Also said
“Today we already know from hard science that children should definitely not watch television until the end of their third year of life. Not because there might be something bad in TV cartoons, but because they do not yet have developed neural networks.”— Shifts the debate from content to neurobiology – the problem is not only 'what', but 'whether the brain is even ready'.

dinner protocol – table without smartphones, with conversation about the day

WhatDaily dinner for the whole family at one table, without TV in the background, without smartphones lying next to plates, without answering SMS messages. The goal is a conversation about what's up with everyone – 'how is your son doing at school, how is your daughter dating a boy'. Dinner ends without rush, with attentiveness to everyone.
Whenevery evening, at a fixed time (adjusted to parents' schedule, but not moved for television).
Doseduration – as long as the meal and conversation last; no one leaves the table before everyone else.
For whomevery family, regardless of the children's age.
WhyThe table 'constitutes the family', and face-to-face conversation is a primal, evolutionary need of humans (like Wilson from the movie *Cast Away*); without it, the family becomes a bunch of roommates.
CaveatsThe rule must apply to everyone – if dad has a work phone and says 'just a quick look', the whole ritual loses its meaning. The expert advises that if a phone rings, defuse the tension with a joke, not a shout.

The professor refers to the movie *Cast Away*, where Tom Hanks paints a face on a ball to talk to it – because conversation has been a basic human need for 300-400 thousand years, since Homo sapiens emerged from Africa in a herd. By the fire (orange-red light), people looked into each other's eyes. Today at the table, everyone looks at their smartphone – this is a denial of evolution. He describes an experiment from Grzybowska Street in Warsaw – in every café, a smartphone lay 'in front of every person'. He leaves his own phone in the car.

Personal experience

He admits that his wife ('Oleńka') had to point out to him when he was watching a movie instead of noticing her; he says: 'I catch myself doing it too'.

We eat dinners together. (...) We do not turn on the TV, we do not answer SMS messages, we do not listen to music. Why? Because the table is meant to constitute the family.

Also said
“I did such an experiment on Grzybowska Street (...) I looked at tables where people's smartphones were. Do you know where they lay? In front of every person. And when I enter a restaurant, my phone is in the car.”— Shows that this is not just a household rule, but a social one – and that he himself follows it.

What's new

Personal practice updates, fresh positions, predictions

1 item

pontificating on the looming demographic catastrophe due to screen overuse

około 2/3 rozmowy

Today's 13–15-year-olds, sleeping 2 hours too little and addicted to screens, as 20-something parents will postpone decisions about marriage and children, which will directly translate into a drop in fertility and a future collapse of the pension system.

Why this matters: Connects individual digital hygiene with the long-term economic-demographic forecast of the state, which rarely appears in the pediatric-upbringing debate.

Background

Poland has one of the lowest fertility rates in the EU (approx. 1.3). At the same time, NIK reports alarm about the rise in children's mental health problems.

The professor argues that chronic sleep deprivation (an 18-year-old sleeps 2 hours too little, a 15-year-old girl sleeps 2 hours too little) shortens life and impairs neurological development. Today's children in 10–15 years will become parents staring at screens, incapable of building lasting relationships. They will postpone fatherhood and motherhood – or give it up entirely. 'The end result will be that we will have even fewer children, and without children, you will have no pension, because I have a pension thanks to your work' – he closes this causal loop.

They will soon be in their 20s. They will be fathers and mothers sitting in screens. Do you know what will happen? They will postpone their decisions about fatherhood and motherhood. ... And the end result will be that we will have even fewer children, and without children, you will have no pension.

Also said
“An 18-year-old today sleeps two hours too little. A 15-year-old girl sleeps two hours too little. What will be the final effect? It is very simple. They will live shorter lives.”— Specifies the biological cost of screen overuse, moving from 'psychological suffering' to shortened lifespan.

Recommendations

Products, supplements, and tools mentioned in the episode

5 items

works of Andrzej Zybertowicz and Katarzyna Zybertowicz

Book

Polish sociologists, authors of analyses on the connections between technology, politics, and cognition (e.g., 'Suicide of the Enlightenment?'). Cited as 'incredibly wise people' worth reading in the context of the new world's impact on large social groups.

It is worth reading Andrzej Zybertowicz, his wife Katarzyna. They are incredibly wise people.

Find works

the case of 'Wojtuś' – giving a child a percentage of earned physical labor instead of pocket money

Practice

13-year-old Wojtuś, who previously forced his mother to give him her room for a gaming room, at the center started working harvesting fruit, getting 25% of the sales revenue. When he saved money for Nike Air shoes for 999 PLN, he looked at them in the store and said: 'They must be crazy, 999 PLN for these shoes. I'm not buying.' – because he had to earn it.

The story is meant to show that a child separated from the value of money (gets everything on demand) does not develop the ability to evaluate. Physical work for one's own goal builds in a young person respect for work and the ability to give up whims. It is an alternative to pocket money 'for nothing' and to buying everything on credit/leasing, which Jędrzejko criticizes as a source of consumerism.

vs alternatives

Against the standard model of 'weekly pocket money for nothing' or 'gets it because other kids have it'.

Personal experience

Tells the story of a patient from his center, where such a model is practiced.

From these fruits, he always got 25%. (...) And this Wojtuś earned huge money and says to me: 'Yes, you know what? We'll go and I'll buy myself Nike Air'. (...) And Wojtuś looked at it and said: 'They must be crazy, 999 PLN for these shoes. I'm not buying'. What does this mean? Because he had to earn it.

Find the

a walk in the forest / greenery as daily cortisol regulation

Practice

Daily minimum 45 minutes outdoors, preferably in the forest or greenery, where after 1-1.5h the level of cortisol and emotions drops. The walk should be together with a parent (or independent for a teenager), not with a phone in hand.

The expert himself 'escaped to the countryside' 5 years ago and describes how observing growing aronia or the first apples from his own trees has a soothing effect on him. He emphasizes that even a resident of Ursynów has Las Kabacki within reach – 'we prefer that remote control, that little keyboard'. A walk is not just 'exercise for health', but restoring contact with 'human nature', which over the last 50,000 years has not changed its circadian rhythm.

vs alternatives

The alternative is staying home with Netflix and a smartphone, which raises cortisol and delays falling asleep.

Personal experience

Describes his own escape to the countryside 5 years ago; he harvests fruit, plants apple trees. 'Today I go out and I see how the aronia is coming up'.

The best is when a person stays in a natural environment, because it is enough to be an hour, an hour and a half in the forest, in greenery and the cortisol level drops. The level of emotions drops.

Also said
“5 years ago I escaped to the countryside. And at the beginning I was terrified by all of this. And you know, today I go out and I see how the aronia is coming up. The apple trees we planted this year gave their first apples.”— Personal testimony, not just theory.
Find a

the 'car breaking down 500 m before school' rule

Practice

Parents driving children 600 m to school and carrying their backpacks are training 'disability'. Jędrzejko advises: 'let your cars break down 500 m before school', forcing the child to walk, oxygenate the brain, and carry their own backpack.

We drive the child 600 m to school, we carry their backpack. Do you know who we are shaping? Disability. (...) Why don't you make your cars break down 500 m before school? And the child asks: 'Mommy, what happened?' And you say: 'We ran out of fuel, you're walking to school'.

Find the

gifts for the sixth birthday: cloths and a cleaning schedule, not just toys

Practice

Instead of (or alongside) toys – giving the child a bottle of Cif, cloths, and a bathroom schedule: 'every Friday yours'. A seven-year-old will first do it badly, after four times will do it well and will start making sure others respect their work.

This is a practical manifestation of the philosophy of 'balance of rights and duties'. Jędrzejko argues that a child who only has rights ('I got a smartphone, computer, tablet, I'm putting it down'), forgets how to 'earn those rights'. An additional psychological mechanism: when a son sees that his father uses the bathroom cleaned by him, and then 'goes to check if daddy respects his work' – pride and a sense of agency are born.

And I'm sorry, but why weren't there such gifts? Bottles of Cif or another toilet cleaner, gloves, and such a cool bathroom layout. Here is the toilet, here is the bathtub, here is the shower with information every Friday yours.

Find gifts
Disclosed sponsorships2speaker disclosed

Cyber disorders, cyber addictions (Mariusz Jędrzejko's book with a dedication for a child)

Book Sponsored · disclosed

The expert encourages listeners to contact him – he will send them his book as a Christmas gift, with a personal, half-joking dedication meant to pull the child away from resignation thoughts.

DisclosureAuthor; himself proposes sending the book with an author's dedication 'Hania, remember that in heaven there is no internet and you walk around with a bare bottom, which means don't hurry to heaven'.

The book appears in the context of a question about a gift for a child – instead of a smartwatch or electric scooter, it's worth giving something pro-developmental. The expert adds his title as one of the ideas, combining it with a dedication meant to work mnemonically: to remind that 'in heaven there is no internet', so it's worth waiting here on earth before ending life. This is typical of his logotherapeutic approach, playing with words and humor to disarm teenage drama.

You can also do something completely different, write to me, and I will probably still manage to send you this book Cyber disorders, cyber addictions with a dedication for your daughter or son.

Also said
“The dedication will read: Hania, remember that in heaven there is no internet and you walk around with a bare bottom, which means don't hurry to heaven and Mariusz will sign it. Amen.”— Illustrates an approach combining humor with a serious suicidal message.
Find Cyber

works of Manfred Spitzer (German neurobiologist researching the impact of digital technologies on the brain)

Book Sponsored · disclosed

Mentioned as one of the credible, scientific sources on the impact of the digital world on individuals and groups; a counterbalance to 'shamans of the cyberworld'.

DisclosureThe expert says: 'I have the pleasure of knowing [him]'.

Spitzer is a German psychiatrist and neurobiologist, author of the famous book 'Digital Dementia'. The expert cites him to support the thesis that science is not silent – there are names and studies, but the mainstream does not cite them because they are inconvenient for Big Tech. Unfortunately, he does not elaborate on specific titles.

We have Manfred Szpicer, yes, whom I have the pleasure of knowing. We have people who know a great deal about the impact of the new world not only on the individual but on large groups.

Find works

Notable quotes

Lines worth pulling out — contrarian, specific, or perfectly phrased

6 items
I have never met a bad child. Even when they scream, yell, they are only saying: 'You parents are savages, you had no time for me, you didn't give me cool guidance, you didn't talk, you had time to wash your cars, but you didn't wash the insides of your heads, because we have beautiful cars, beautiful apartments, and dirty heads'.
The quintessence of the whole conversation – shifts the blame from the 'spoiled child' to neglectful parents, using the strong, physical image of 'dirty heads'.
Am I supposed to come to terms with Chinese TikTok, which co-contributes, I want to clearly emphasize, to the lowered self-esteem and suicidal thoughts of hundreds of children. Am I supposed to say, I agree to such a direction, never, never.
A direct accusation of TikTok for real participation in the mental crisis of Polish children, uttered with rare firmness in public debate.
Smartphone, yes, 13, 14 years old, closer to 14 years of age. Because that brain is sufficiently developed. First not social media, first smartphone for communication and only then social media, but social media only as much as your head can handle.
A specific, high age threshold for the first smartphone – higher than in the dominant '12 years' discussions, with a split into communication (first) and social media (later).
The best mother-in-law is 120 km from home, if there are highways. And if there are winding roads, then 60 km you'll manage to get away.
A humorous but meaningful metaphor indicating the risk of grandparents breaking the unified upbringing front – one of the few moments of pure humor, aptly punctuating the problem.
In heaven there is no internet and you walk around with a bare bottom, which means don't hurry to heaven.
A moving, aphoristic dedication for teenagers struggling with suicidal thoughts – combines logotherapeutic depth with language a teenager can remember.
Please try today (...) to select all the news portals of the major TV stations in Poland. Watch the news on each of them at 7:00 PM or 7:30 PM (...) and please send me an SMS tomorrow with one piece of good news about Poland. Do you know how many you will send?
A challenge posed to the host and listeners – questioning the hypothesis of 'objective reporting' by the media; exposes that we feed children exclusively images of conflict and death.

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Topics covered

higiena-cyfrowadetoks-od-ekranowneurobiologia-snudopamina-i-swiatlo-niebieskierola-ojcarola-matkispojnosc-wychowawczapolska-szkola-reformaedukacja-zdrowotna-ideologialegalizacja-marihuany-thcdopalacze-i-nsp-mefedronalkohol-w-domuprzemoc-i-granice-bez-karteoria-spolecznego-uczenia-siefilozofia-Ingardena-wolnoscdemografia-i-sen-nastolatkowtiktok-samoocena-mysli-samobojczekontrola-rodzicielska-social-mediapraca-fizyczna-dzieci
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Educational summary of the cited expert source — not medical advice. Open the source recording linked above and consult a qualified physician before acting on any protocol.